i’ve been saying yes

when i should have been saying no.

I’m trying to remember where I am in life. Careening towards a career.

I need to have some fun. I know I say this a lot, but… I miss the Acad.  I’m so unimaginative lately.  I’ve been doing things for the approval of other people.  Listening to music for the approval of other people.  I need a break from my current context.  Too bad life isn’t like a video game–sick of the stupid underwater level?  Just play a different level for a change of pace.

I used to not worry about legitimacy.  My imagination died.  I still fantasize, but never about things that amuse me anymore.

the wind has been knocked right out of me.  learning respect has made me dead and uncreative like everyone else.  no more pressure on yourself.  no more.

you have no fucking spine

minnie makes me want to kill myself

i dont get to inhabit her world

it was always on your terms

i have nothing valuable in my body, in my casing, nothing innocent or good or unhorrible, it’s all revolting