when you fall for the garbage man, you wind up in the

garbage

 

6:39:05 PM Bryn: and every day is a risk
6:39:16 PM Bryn: but it isnt like “just lunge out and do whatever”
6:39:24 PM Ellie: thats so depressing….
6:39:29 PM Bryn: unless you want that sort of entropy and lack of cumulative worth
6:39:31 PM Ellie: every day is an opportunity
6:39:47 PM Ellie: entropy and lack of cumulative worth?
6:39:54 PM Bryn: if you never calculate your actions
6:40:17 PM Bryn: chnaces are that it will not really amount to a collective reward
6:40:27 PM Bryn: unless youve got some amazing luck
6:40:46 PM Bryn: people who count solely on luck are people i dont admire or identify with
6:40:55 PM Bryn: and kind of just seem disposable
6:41:28 PM Ellie: you can’t mean that

 

my only successes were when i trusted in luck

i’m so disposable

and i just lunge out

and i just do whatever

My beautiful body

I want to liposuction it and feel the fat drain away like milk.  No exercise.  Just a suction, a tube piercing its way in and bleeding me dry.  The unfattening.

20 years old and still rotting away in this house.  Still stupid and silly.  Still stupid

I see you left a mark
Up and down my skin
I don’t know where I end
And where you begin

I need your discipline
I need your help
I need your discipline
You know once I start I cannot help myself

Can you be in love and still be productive?