sorry
November 18, 2008
lindsay lohan in my dreams
sign of lingering guilt
sorry about that, millie
sorry about that, bryn
what i will never tell him
what he will never know, is that, i liked it, and then, immediately, oh god what have i done.
an action done out of resentment. resentment no longer exists. no reason to start more drama.
i still do think about her, idly, but she’s a lindsay lohan, not sure why. I don’t really even want her in my life.
devil’s in the details
November 11, 2008
to cut up
to order
to make sense of
to straighten
to narrow
to polish
to harden
固まる katamaru
August 25, 2008
to harden; to solidify; to become firm; to become certain.
yes.
閉める [しめる]
(v1,vt) to close; to shut
清まる [きよまる]
(v5r) to be purified; to be cleansed
Hello Ellie,
look at my weird handwriting. I like writing in all caps. When i first started using AOL in about 1994, I would use all caps. The scorn that fell upon me as a result quickly corrected my faux pas. I’ve barely capitalized a single word since! Can you believe it!?! I used to chat about Trent Reznor… and Trent Reznor. Anyway, I wanted my package to be accompanied by a letter, particularly since you had expressed some desire to receive something handwritten. Do you like graph paper? I do. Am I the smartest boyfriend you’ve ever had? Does this graph paper make me look more academic and calculated?
I want you t know that I have let you in more deeply into my being than I have ever let someone in before at suce a rate. Even in my single prior “whirlwind” type engage-ment (not as in marriage), I did not bare my soul, nor allow such profound entrance into my most sacred of viscera, as I have with you. I hope that I have not grown more foolish with age, and I don’t believe I have, I have taken something of a vanguard approach to our involvement and have felt some very deep and surprising things as a result –>
and I do not believe this is some solely insular, self invented experience. Even if some falling out transpires while this is en route to you. It will not change the fact of what has already occurred. While, perhaps, some practical elements of our wrkings together have yet to be addressed in action, I believe we hold a lot of potential for each other and I plan on delivering to you all i can with the fullest of my abilities. I hope you should feel the same gratification in giving of yourself, as I do you. I want us to prove to each other that this is no vain whim. I know I have not only a lot I can offer you, but the willingness to do so. You have already proven that you offer qualities that I have found no parallel to in my former experiences and I would like to continue to discover the unique and encouraging make up of your character. Stay open and present with me. Never accept inaction out of fear of failure with me, I want you to risk what is necessary to fully express who you are with me and who you want to be… I will promise the same.
I will be thinking of you
-Bryn
忘れる
to forget
there is no such thing as caution in my world.
どして
August 14, 2008
helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot helovesme helovesmenot
He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not
h
elov
es
m
e
,
You hang up on me now.
I am just a whole.
I’m so done.
August 6, 2008
“you’re wonderful.”
*shakes head*
“you’re not wonderful?”
*shakes head*
“I don’t think you’re wonderful?”
*shakes head*
“why are you shaking your head?”
*shakes head*
oKAY, if that’s how you want it.
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels
July 29, 2008
Sorry man I gotta a gut slit me fucking ran away with my abortionist
My little eyes blacked you know gizzed with
The knife they used to gut my face in
It’s been out stabbing baby baby angels in
Smile smile

allowed foods:
salad
rice krispie treats
orangina
chicken
wraps
diet coke
sandwiches?
verboten:
red plum
sugars
carbs
I want lipo.
July 29, 2008
Arf arf arf arf
July 28, 2008
Listening to Hole has become an almost spiritual experience. A necessary purging.
I have been drawing pugs and worrying that I have HIV, despite the utter implausibility of something like that happening. I’d kill myself (seriously) if I gave BB an STI.
woof woof
sorry my dog is chained outside
going to die
July 7, 2008
you’re too delicate
i just didn’t have the heart
now what will i do
oh
god
| deep reflection on those close to you is dangerous |
delicate
dangerous
volatile
when you fall for the garbage man, you wind up in the
June 16, 2008
garbage
6:39:05 PM Bryn: and every day is a risk
6:39:16 PM Bryn: but it isnt like “just lunge out and do whatever”
6:39:24 PM Ellie: thats so depressing….
6:39:29 PM Bryn: unless you want that sort of entropy and lack of cumulative worth
6:39:31 PM Ellie: every day is an opportunity
6:39:47 PM Ellie: entropy and lack of cumulative worth?
6:39:54 PM Bryn: if you never calculate your actions
6:40:17 PM Bryn: chnaces are that it will not really amount to a collective reward
6:40:27 PM Bryn: unless youve got some amazing luck
6:40:46 PM Bryn: people who count solely on luck are people i dont admire or identify with
6:40:55 PM Bryn: and kind of just seem disposable
6:41:28 PM Ellie: you can’t mean that
my only successes were when i trusted in luck
i’m so disposable
and i just lunge out
and i just do whatever



